Let me explain the Tribe

The days I spent in the hospital after my surgery were laced with dream images that held messages for me, I know they probably had more to do with the happy juice running through my veins but they were meaningful for me nonetheless.

One of these messages was The C-Tribe. I realized that I now belonged to a new tribe, with all the plus and minuses that entailed. This is what I wrote down initially:

We walk among you, you know, we’re not all that different from you, no need to fear us, pity us, reject us or ignore us. We are just like you, except that one day we had the “C” word dropped on us… yes, that “C” word, cancer. It’s the great divider, those with and those without, but is it? And does it need to be? We all walk around with it in our bodies, we all have cancer cells present, its just that some of us have or had more of them, OK, maybe lots more of them. But the minute that scarlett letter is emblazened on you then you become this other person, you are no longer just “my friend, Dora”, you become “my friend, Dora, with cancer”; the addendum typically said in a whisper. And that makes both parties feel odd, different, awkward, needlessly so. So I’m here to say that we can all relax around this, I know it would do me a world of good and would probably be good for you as well.

Odds are that even if you’re not aware of it you know people who have had to deal with cancer, we put our pants on one leg at a time too; we’re just like everyone else. Except that the minute you are made aware of someone’s “C” status there is a social schism that drops down like a weighted curtain, and stays there. Are we really that scary? Is that whole “reminds us of our own mortality” thing really that strong? We have the same probability of stepping off a curb one day and being hit by a bus as you do; the odds are the same for us all.

OK, back to today- I know I walk alone through my experience with cancer (ironically even though I have amazing people in my life that hold my hand down the path, and for them I am infinitely grateful). There's such a push-pull involved in this tribe, the push against pre-conceived concepts surrounding our diagnoses, the pull of a forceful camaraderie that we would no doubt opt out of given the choice. But this is what I have been given in life, some of us belong to the blue eyed tribe, some the left handed tribe, some the alcoholic tribe, you get my drift... me? the c-tribe.