Goes to show you how much I know...

OK, it's been over a week since I posted on here naively thinking I'd be doing a grand performance of the happy dance all over the place because my treatment was finally over; well, little did I know... I was a complete wreck. I was expecting relief, I was expecting a parting of the clouds, and while there definitely was some of that, what was there the most of was an overwhelming flood of emotions. I realize now that for the last six months I was holding back so much (mainly my whole life most of the time) and now it all came pouring out. Finishing treatment wasn't joyous, it was sobering. Finishing treatment meant release, but also fear, fear that even though treatment was awful I knew at least that whatever cancer cells might still be in me were being attacked, now that the attack is over what does that mean, that they are free to grow again? It's taken me a few days to digest everything, and I have come to the realization that I now go from attacking cancer with outside treatments, i.e., chemo and radiation, to managing it from the inside, from my head, from my spirit and my physical body. I will make my body into the best cancer fighting entity it can be thru nutrition and supplements, I'll keep all those great killer cells we all have strong and hungry, and I'll stay on the monitoring program of scans and blood tests until I hear the doctors utter that most wonderful of all C-words: cure. That's when I KNOW I'll do that pending happy dance :)