I have been thinking a lot about womanhood lately, about what it means in it's essence. I've been thinking about the physical self loathing that I absorbed into my life since I was a young girl, and then I look at that in the context of what happened to me, basically my female parts went bad on me, I had ovarian and uterine cancer, and now I have no ovaries and no uterus, not that I need those organs to feel like a woman but these are things that have been on my mind. So I think on some level I was going to the Women's conference to not only plug into a female energy that I know I missed but maybe also to learn about being a woman from other women. What I didn't expect, yet happily welcomed, was the instant empowerment that flowed from the minute the conference opened. As I listened to women like Elizabeth Lesser, Lateefah Simon and the amazing Gloria Steinem that first night, I found myself once again hungry for external definition when I simply snapped out of it- I DO know what woman means, I know what me as a woman means and what traveling thru this female life is; it means being open and loving and fearless and soft and strong and embracing a deep innate wisdom we are born with yet all too often doubt. I listened to, met, exchanged ideas with, and broke bread with some amazing women, there were all ages there and I was at the same time proud of my generation for things we accomplished and awed by the younger ones for things they are committed to. I made two wonderful friends, the sweet, loving, kind and accepting Teresa and the passionate and forthright seeker Maria (who also happens to be from Cuba to boot), two woman that were given to me for a reason, I know, and that maybe represent two facets of my very own self that I am to embrace, I'm so grateful to have met them.
And Omega the place itself is magical, there is an energy there that must come from years of people coming together to explore themselves and to explore things seen and unseen that gives it a living heart, it's like a big warm hug of a place. I was also happy to realize that the 60's are alive and kicking, in me and at Omega. I know I will be back, no doubt about it.
My mind has been spinning with everything I took in, we heard from Isabel Allende, Helen Thomas, the young founders of Feministing.com and World Pulse Magazine, a woman from Afghanistan who needs bodyguards round the clock because she has dedicated her life to building schools and even a university for girls in her country, the gifted and hilarious Sarah Jones, Natalie Merchant, Olympic medalists, and many others. And I have to admit I was feeling quite small and intimidated in light of the work that all of these women were involved in and working so hard for. And then Elizabeth Lesser did it again, she gave us all a gift as she did with her book, she ended the conference with the message that every one we heard from, all these women who have accomplished so much, are simply "making it up" as they go along, that that's what we all do, she said that what she wishes is for us all to just go out there and "make it up". Gloria Steinem repeatedly said to remember that we are communal beings, that we can't get things done alone, human beings need community, so very true. I realized that I need community as a woman and as a person dealing with cancer. My personal version of "making it up" will be to develop the C-Tribe as community.
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