Been thinking some more

OK, until I completely figure out what it is I am supposed to do in terms of website, etc., I'm just going to keep writing down my thoughts, in the words of my amazing brother who I just shared this with I'm gonna just "be myself and keep the honest, open approach"...

The newly diagnosed- that's a very singular position to be in, it's a cloud, a fog, really. It is surreal and hyper-real at the same time, it's completely disorienting and frightening and very lonely. And you have Twilight Zone moments like when you find yourself sitting in a waiting room with other people clearly going thru chemo and you think to yourself "oh, those poor people, they have cancer...", as if you didn't too. There are a lot of resources out there for cancer information, too many maybe, there are a lot of quack type websites who will tell you that if you drink worm feces tea or suck on pine cones found on the northwest side of Mt Whatever that you will be cured of cancer, guaranteed, or sites that go on and on about early detection (how does that help you when you've just been diagnosed at your particular stage? it makes you feel like a goner is what it does), or sites that are so general they make you want to scream. So what do you do? I think one of the best things to do is to stay off of them altogether. There is just so much information you can process at a time, and at the moment you are busy dealing with the words you heard from your doctors mouth and the steps to come. I'm going to concentrate my efforts on those that are in the midst of this newly diagnosed whirlwind, because it can be easy to lose your spirit for a little bit, and it's your spirit that's going to get you through this. I'm not talking about the "you have to be positive" platitudes (usually said with the best of intentions, I know), but believe me, if you could THINK your cancer away I would not have gone thru what I went thru. And the flip side of this train of thought is this weird unspoken insinuation that you got sick or had a recurrence because you weren't positive enough. At any rate, what I'm getting at is that what does get you through things and what gives you strength is reaching down in your core, in your heart of hearts and realizing that in spite of everything that's being laid on you right now, in spite of the fear, you know that life is good, simply and solidly good, and that no matter what, no matter the outcome of things, you will be fine.